I come from a long line of war heroes,
But never in my wildest imagination
would I have dreamed that you would be the one
to tear my foundation down.
Because as a young girl
I am just a ‘pretty little thing’
who’s a ‘tad overweight’
with a smidgen of ‘insanity’
and who’s reluctance makes me
I would feed on compliments from the person who made me
want to hear them in the first place.
I found myself struggling to contain
the guilt I felt when I didn’t miss you
because I thought that if that one part
of me that is buried in you died
I would crumble altogether.
But the blood of my ancestors are crying out
for release and they make me tremble
because there is a sole reason
why I am still fighting on this Earth
and a freedom away from you.
A man who has spilled blood
in a ‘logical’ point of view
a man with a sense of ‘charisma’
who claims his favorite singer
was humble and played in record stores
and who hopes to become just like him one day.
You call me up one night,
"she broke my heart"
but now it’s time for me to reply,
"and you broke mine, motherfucker."
and with the slam of the phone
I will feel my bones clench
and tighten with power
My best friend says, “You’re his rebound.”
and dammit, it spoke to me
like you did that one night on the phone
and that day when I realized how much
my intuition has failed me.
I see now there is no plan of attack
that does not involve fighting
for my freedom.
Clawing at me like the ‘obsessive bitch’ that I am.
An obsession that you claimed was about ‘you’
but all along the seed was planted by your corrupted
sense of vile coordination.
A boy who shrugs shoulders
with his cousins and best friends
and who tells me that he ‘needs me’
and that i’m ‘the only person he’ll ever know
like he knows himself’
but if that’s the case then why are you upset
that I yearn over for you in the toughest places
clinging on an imagination and ghost that was never
really there in the first place.
Me. An obsessive bitch.
More like you.